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Whether you want to keep costs down, have booked an adults-only venue or simply would rather guests let their hair down and enjoy the party, it’s perfectly okay to choose not to have children at your wedding. A survey of 20,000 couples revealed that 45% didn’t invite children to their wedding, so it’s clear that the soon-to-be-married are fairly evenly divided in this ongoing debate.
There are several reasons why couples may decide to have a child-free or child-limited wedding, and you shouldn’t have to justify it to friends and family — after all, it’s your special day and should be exactly as you imagined it.
However, this is a subject you’ll have to broach with guests, and even if you’re completely happy with your decision, it’s normal to feel some awkwardness. If many of your friends are parents, you may worry that they’ll be sensitive toward the topic or take the “no children” rule personally, and the last thing you want is to offend anyone.
Thankfully, there are ways to approach the “no children” conversation carefully and avoid hurting guests’ feelings as much as possible. This guide is full of tips to help you politely announce your child-free wedding and make this part of the wedding planning process as stress-free as possible.
What other wedding faux pas do you need to avoid? Take a look at our guide to wedding invitation etiquette for more tips.
Before you start crafting the perfect “no children” message for your wedding invitations, be sure that you’re prepared for the following:
The reality of having an adults-only wedding is that sometimes, there will be friends or family members who can’t make it. Some parents may not wish to attend the wedding without their little ones, while others may be unable to make childcare arrangements and have to give up their spot. You’ll need to be aware of this possibility before letting guests know, and you shouldn’t take it personally.
The rule you decide on must apply to every guest, so be sure to make your wishes clear from the outset. For example, if your wedding will be entirely child-free, you shouldn’t make exceptions later on, as this may upset other parents in attendance or those who had to miss out.
It’s perfectly acceptable to make an exception for children of immediate family or children in your wedding party. If this is the case, let guests know in your invitations, so everyone is clear on your boundaries.
If your dream is to have a child-free destination wedding, go for it, but be aware that this may cause your guest list to shorten considerably. It can be incredibly difficult for parents to travel overseas without their children or arrange childcare while abroad.
Just as you’re entitled to have an adults-only wedding, your loved ones also have the right not to attend if it’s difficult for them. If a close friend or family member can’t attend, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to or that you’re not important to them — just that they have other responsibilities and their children must come first. Try not to get upset if someone has to turn down your invitation.
Although some parents may be upset by your decision or realise that they can no longer attend, it’s not fair for any of your wedding guests to make you feel guilty or persuade you to make an exception. Stand firm in your decision and politely remind friends and family that the rule applies to everyone.
Even if guests are disappointed that they can’t bring their children to the celebrations, most will understand your decision. To get your friends and family on board, you should address the matter in your wedding invitations, but be careful to choose the right message. Below are some examples of wording to cover a range of scenarios:
Some couples choose to have “child-limited” rather than “child-free” weddings. This might mean that only the children of close family members are allowed to attend or that children over a certain age are welcome. Couples may also choose to allow babies to come along. If you’re allowing certain children to attend, here are some ways to outline this in your wedding invitations:
“Unfortunately, due to guest number restrictions, we are only able to invite children of close family to our wedding. We hope you’ll understand this decision and that you will still be able to join us on our special day.”
“As much as we’d love to invite all of your children, we are only able to accommodate children involved in the wedding party.”
“Our budget and venue cannot accommodate children outside the family. Infants under 12 months welcome.”
“We respectfully request no children under 16 at the reception.”
Weddings are expensive, and sometimes, couples simply don’t have the venue space or catering budget to accommodate their loved ones’ children. Here’s how to explain this politely to your wedding guests:
“Due to budget and space constraints, we’re unable to accommodate children outside the family. We hope you’ll still be able to make it and celebrate with us.”
“Due to budget limitations, we are unable to extend the invitation to children.”
“While we love all of our friends’ children, our budget will only allow us to accommodate over-18s at our wedding.”
“We regret that due to cost restrictions, we’re only able to invite adult guests to our wedding.”
You may decide that you’d love to involve children at your wedding ceremony but would like the reception to be an adults-only affair — or perhaps you’d prefer the opposite. Try one of these messages to convey your wedding rules to friends and family:
“To allow our guests a night of uninhibited fun, we respectfully ask that no children attend the reception.”
“We would like our ceremony to be an adults-only occasion, but would love to see your children at the evening reception from XXpm”.
“Children at the ceremony, we'd love them on the scene. Reception time, however, is an adults-only theme.”
“Following the ceremony, please join us for an adults-only reception at XXpm.”
If you’d prefer not to go into detail about your reasons for having a child-free wedding, a simple yet polite message on your wedding invitations will do the trick:
“Please be aware that this is an adults-only wedding.”
“We are sorry that we are unable to accommodate under-18s at our wedding”.
For the RSVP card: “X seats have been reserved in your honour. Please let us know if you’re able to attend.”
No one is saying that parents can’t have a great time with their children present, but the atmosphere you’d like at your wedding is ultimately up to you. If you want your wedding to be a completely carefree day of dancing, drinking, and catching up with friends, the presence of children can make this more difficult to achieve. Here’s how to let guests know that you’d love for them to be able to let their hair down without thinking about toddler tantrums or keeping their little ones entertained:
“To allow all our guests a day of relaxation, we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adults-only occasion. We hope that the advance notice means you are still able to attend.”
“To give our guests the opportunity to let their hair down without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request that no children attend.”
“Although we love your little ones, this is an adults-only affair. We hope that you will see this as an opportunity to let your hair down and enjoy the party with us!”
At Vintage Prints, all of our hand-finished wedding stationery is fully customisable, so not only can you include whatever message you’d prefer, but you can also tweak the design to suit your style. Explore our extensive range of wedding invitations for inspiration.
