5. How to Address Your Wedding Invitations

Etiquette and Respect

Whatever you read further down this list, there’s one rule that overrides all others: be respectful. When it comes to addressing a wedding card and an invitation, it’s all about showing the right level of respect for your guests.

So always address people in the way that they want to be addressed. For example, your sibling might have a PhD, but they don’t ever use the Doctor title. That means you shouldn’t either. If you're not sure, take the time to ask! From married women who prefer to be addressed as Ms to people that want to remain gender-neutral or divorced women who are still using their Mrs title, find out what they prefer and stick to that. It’s polite, respectful and sets the right tone for your wedding.

Using First Names

Using the guest's full name is the traditionally acceptable way to address wedding invites. However, a lot depends on the kind of invites you're sending out. For example, if you're using an inner envelope, you don’t have to add forenames to the outer envelope. The inner envelope will have the full names of your guests.

Using Special Titles

This is where things start to get a little complicated. If you’re planning to invite lots of doctors, serving military or professors, you’ll need to get this right. 

If you're inviting a couple where one has a title and the other doesn't, the titled person will be listed first:

• Dr and Mrs Brian and Jane Smith (where he is the doctor)

• Doctor and Mr Jane and Brian Smith (where she is the doctor).

Now, if both of them have a title, then traditionally, you should put the woman’s title first.

• Lieutenant Jane Smith and Doctor John Smith

• Doctor Jane Smith and Doctor John Smith

• Doctors Jane and John Smith.

Of course, for same-sex couples, you can choose which order to list them on your wedding invites. 

Different Last Names

Not everyone has a name change when they get married. This ties back into the first section of this explainer of how to address wedding invitations. If a married woman hasn’t taken her husband’s surname, you should stick to what they use. If one member of the couple has hyphenated their name, then follow suit. For same-sex couples where neither partner has changed their name, you should do the same too.

Unmarried Couples

There are many people who have been in a relationship for many years but have never taken the step to get married. Those couples should be addressed in the same way you address married couples. So follow the same protocol when writing addresses for couples who never got round to tying the knot.

Couples Who Don’t Live Together

If you want to invite a couple that doesn’t live together, who do you send it to? This is a lot more common than you might think, but it’s an easy solution. Simply send an invite to each address, with both names listed on both invitations. A similar issue is inviting people that live together but who aren’t a couple.

If you're going all-out in terms of tradition, then the wedding invitation etiquette is that housemates should all get separate invites. In the real world, though, there’s not going to be an issue if you send a single invite that lists all their names.

Using Nicknames

Even if your wedding will be somewhat casual, nicknames should be avoided on wedding invitations. Always use full names. However, that can lead to a problem if you're not sure whether someone you're inviting is using their full name or a shortened name (Anne/Annabel, Bob/Robert etc.). This is one of those cases where it’s always best to check before you write your wedding invitations.

Name Everyone on the Invite

Don’t write out a wedding invitation for your friend and add a “plus-one” to the invite. Name everybody that you're inviting! That includes spouses and children. If you're having a child-free wedding, ensure you make that clear.

Don’t Use Abbreviations

Even if your wedding is very, very casual, wedding invites are traditionally very formal. That means not using any abbreviation on your invites. Use “twenty” instead of 20, and use “street” and “road” rather than “st” and “rd”. While this isn’t 100% necessary, it does show that your wedding is something you're taking time to get right.

Give Yourself a Break

If you don’t know how to address wedding invitations, mistakes can be made. You could accidentally use wording that isn’t how one of your guests prefers to be addressed. Don’t give yourself a hard time, especially if you've taken steps to get everything right. Mistakes happen, and most people (divorced wives, for example) will be used to this happening occasionally. 

Learn How to Address Wedding Invitations

From etiquette to naming conventions, it can be hard to wrap your head around all that’s needed to send out your wedding invites. But remember that you won't ruin your wedding if you abbreviate a street name on your invites or can’t find the name of a plus one! There are only traditions to stick to rather than laws; however, those traditions can be useful and make your invites stand out.

When it comes to your wedding invitations, you can choose from a range of designs that match the themes of your wedding. And when you choose designs that match well with those themes and add traditional methods of addressing your invitation, your guests will immediately get a better sense of what to expect from your wedding. And what a great introduction to your special day that can be.

If you’ve enjoyed this guide on how to address a wedding card, you might enjoy our VIP Club. Sign up today and get wedding insights sent straight to your inbox!